Chapter 19
It was almost a blessing that you weren't allowed to use your phones in the lab. June felt like the real world didn't exist within those walls. There weren't even windows in the sterilized rooms. People looked unaffected under the fluorescent lights. June liked that part of it; there were hours where she didn't know what was happening on the news or the election. In the lab, she felt satisfaction, building something, solving a problem.
"Science is easy." Mrs. Yang used to say to June, her eyes elsewhere, as she spoke about her medical school's glory stories. When June walked around the lab, she felt like her mother's daughters. A few steps ahead of the class.
June didn't mind having a night lab class. It ran from 6-9 pm on Fridays. It was the only one that could fit into her schedule. All the labs during the day were already full or conflicted with one of her seven other classes.
Short grey haired women in a white coat came over to look at June's bench. She examined her protein gels and the images she took. Looked over June's meticulous notes and calculations for the protein purification and extraction. "Impressive June, as always." She said before moving on.
"Thank you, Dr. Ivanov." June looked at the clock pinned to the wall above the whiteboard, 8:30 pm. She might be able to get out early and make it to the pregame for tonight's mixer.
June cleaned up her work station. She replaced all the beakers and reagents. She said a quick goodbye to her lab partner and teacher before rushing to the hall to retrieve her phone from her locker.
The minute she turned it on, June wished she hadn't. 50 messages and notifications.
A message from her big, Abigail "You need to come out tonight, and we never get to spend time together. Plus I'm going abroad next year."
Another bulk of messages came from a group chat of the girls in her pledge class. They had a mixer with Beta Theta Pi. Girls were deciding where to get ready. Who was in what ride? Who was coming to the party straight from the football game that June had missed.
A Snapchat from a boy she hooked up with last week, a picture of his face asking June what she was up to tonight.
A message from Alex was asking her for her study guide for the chemistry final next week.
A message from Kate, her roommate: "My sisters and I did a pregame in our room tonight. We drank your tequila. I'll replace it and clean up tomorrow."
A message from her mom typed out a paragraph from the bible.
June went to her messages and saw no response from Nick. He had read the last message she sent before night lab.
"I'm excited the semesters almost over. We can plan something for the summer. Are you doing anything fun tonight?"
He left her on read. Ever since they started their open relationship, the long-distance became more challenging—missed Facetimes and unwatched videos that they sent each other.
On the weekends, they talked to each other even less. Maybe it was on purpose. June messaged the girls in her sorority, "Does anyone have room in their ride?" June got a Monster energy drink from the vending machine trying to catch a second wind of energy.
Abigail texted her, "Come with us, but we're leaving in 20 minutes!"
June texted Nick a question mark.
June hiked across campus to the upperclassman dorms and made her way to meet Abigail. When she arrived at a random girl's room, she put down her bag, and Abigail handed her a water bottle full of tequila.
"You can drink it in the car." Abigail hugged June. Her perfume was overwhelming since it mixed with the smell of her hairspray. June quickly chugged half the bottle, preventing herself from throwing it back up.
Nick had reread it but didn't answer. In the car, June searched her social media for evidence. With a horrible suspicion growing in her stomach. She looked at Nick's roommate's Snapchat stories and saw his curly blonde hair in pictures' background. Nick drinking and bartending in a dark basement.
"Would you stop looking to see what he's up to? I promise you it's nothing important." Abigail said, looking over her shoulder. "Here, drink this." She handed her another water bottle from her purse.
"What's in it?" June asked.
"Vodka, I think." Abigail shrugged.
"I have whiskey and coke if you want instead." A brown hair girl June recognized said in the front seat.
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June didn't know whose room she was in when she finally became conscious again. The smell of dirty sheets filling her nose. June was lying on her stomach, naked on top of a bed she didn't recognize. Her glasses weren't on her eyes, and she struggled to get an exact look at anything in the room. But it was all fuzzy lines.
Nobody could hear what was going on in the room. The sound of the music downstairs was loud enough to drown out her feeble outcries. A fat hand shoved her face into the sheets. She heard the sound of a stranger's grunts, like an animal trying to force himself into her.
The man grunted. "Uh, you're so fucking tight. Tight fucking Asian pussy." Annoyed that raping her was more challenging than he thought it would be. He shoved one more time, this time breaking in unwanted.
June flailed her arms, trying to push herself up, cursing herself for drinking too much. She fell back down when he pushed his weight into her.
She heard him laugh, "You fucking wanted this." The man thrust in and out. June shook her head back and forth, tears seeping into the sheets.
When he finally finished. June begged for her glasses. "I need my glasses."
He found them crushed by the door. He shrugged and passed her her things. June didn't remember the rest. That she stumbled out into a mysterious hallway and slipped on each step, falling each time she got up, unable to see and get her footing, she could hear people laughing.
She fell a few more steps before someone was concerned. Two guys lifted June by the shoulders and helped her down the stairs to get outside.
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June woke up the next morning, confused. Her glasses were snapped in half by the nose piece. She put tape on them to hold them together. Online had a friend request from a girl she didn't recognize named Penny. Penny sent June a message: "Hi June, I don't know if you remember me, but we met last night at the Beta Theta Pi party. I helped you get home. You said some things last night that was concerning, and I was wondering if we could meet for coffee."
June sat across from Penny in a booth at the main dining hall on campus within the hour. To June, it felt like the first time meeting this girl. June stared at Pennys untouched cup of coffee.
"June, do you remember what happened last night?" Penny looked at her, concerned.
June shook her head, unable to speak.
"I found you crying outside of the Beta Theta Pi house. You kept saying you were attacked." June stopped moving.
"When I asked you who it was, you just kept crying, saying he broke my glasses. You didn't have any shoes on, and you had your bra and your glasses in your hand."
"I don't remember that," June said.
"How do you feel?" Penny asked.
"Awful," June said. "Thank you for helping me. I'm just not sure what to do."
"June, I think you were sexually assaulted. You need to tell someone." Penny pushed.
June watched Penny's mouth move, but the words never hit home. She let the words wash over her. Small images started to come back to her.
"I don't know who it was," June whispered.
Penny looked at June, who was holding herself. "I'll ask my boyfriend. He's in that frat. That's why I was there last night. We were on our way back from the bars. I know it's supposed to be a mixer with just you guys. But you need to ask your sisters to see if anyone saw anything."
June nodded. Realizing nobody else had reached out to her to see how she was doing.
Penny grabbed June's hand. "Please let me know if you need anything, June. I'm so sorry we had to meet like this."
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Walking back into her building, she avoided eye contact with anyone who was still there. Most people were still in bed, nursing their hangovers.
As she climbed the steps to the second floor, June's RA stopped her.
"June, can we talk for a second."
June stood in her RA's hallway staring up at the letters Pi Phi on her wall. Her RA was also in her sorority, but June hardly saw her at events.
"June, Penny came in and told me what happened. Are you okay?"
"I'm not sure."
"Penny, because of my job, I have to report this to the counseling center. I also messaged our sorority president and risk manager."
"Okay."
"They want to talk to you this afternoon."
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June sat in an empty classroom in front of her sorority president, RA, and risk manager.
"June. We heard something happened last night. You should be careful what you say and to whom."
"Penny is in Tri Delta. She can have us put on probation if she went and reported this to Panhellenic."
"I didn't mean to."
"So you blacked out?"
"Yes, I had just come out of the lab and went straight to the ride..."
"Abigail said that you were upset about something and drinking your feelings. The way you acted reflects poorly upon your sisters."
"A lot of your other sisters said that they all thought you were too drunk. I saw you. You kept knocking into people."
"I'm sorry. Did you guys see what happened? Who I was with?"
Nobody answered.
"June, you were flirting with a lot of different guys last night."
"Are you sure it happened the way you said it did?"
"I know I didn't want it."
"This would be a serious accusation. If you don't know who it is. There will be an investigation. It'll be complicated for you since you don't have a ton of evidence or know who it was."
"Has this happened before at the same frat?" June asked
Nobody answered.
"Why do you guys still attend their functions and associate with them?" June asked.
"June it's not that simple. We often pair with Beta Theta Pi for Greek week and football tailgates."
"If this investigation gets out of hand and we are responsible for kicking off a fraternity. June, the other fraternities won't want to do anything with any of us. Do you want all of greek life to suffer from this?"
"What is your fucking priority then?"
"June. I don't like your tone. We are trying to communicate to you how this could play out. It would be best if you accepted responsibility for getting too out of control. We can't watch over every member... Honestly, maybe you should not go to the next couple of events or formal. Wait until next year and come back with a fresh perspective."